Sunday, May 23, 2010

On the topic of giving advice

Yesterday, I went to a former student's 7th birthday party. He hasn't been my student in two years, so it was awesome to be invited! I hadn't even seen him in about a year, but of course he remembered me and seemed happy to have me there. Anyway, his aunt was there. I had met her about two years ago. She was pregnant, and I said the following two her...

I have two pieces of advice for you: 1) Breastfeed. 2) Ignore everyone's advice, including mine, and do what feels right for you! It doesn't matter if that person is a doctor, your mother, a friend, etc. if it doesn't seem right, don't feel like you have to follow it.

She took it well and we chatted for a bit. She seemed happy with what I said. This advice was given about 5 mins after an older woman came up to me (while we were sitting in the shade) and said "You need to put a hat on the baby. That's what we were always told in the 'olden' days." I sighed, and said "She's fine" and that was that. I know I give out unsolicited parenting advice (whether in person, on Facebook, etc.).  I did last night on Facebook, and I was very happy to see that my friend had an educated, researched response to what I said. I think what's important to do is that when you do offer advice, you do so from an open-minded standpoint, rather than a know-it-all judgmental standpoint. Definitely something I will work toward. Half of what is said to people is all in the presentation, right?

So what's your best non-judgmental parenting advice? Have you found a good way to advise other mommies/daddies without sounding critical? Do you find most people are receptive if approached a certain way?

4 comments:

Dawana @ABittersweet1 said...

I do think that people are receptive if you come at them in a non-judgmental way. I try not to give parenting advice because I'm still learning how to make it work. If I do, though, I always say- no two babies are alike and Cadence (my daughter) is "special" lol. Cause she is the crying Queen!

Anonymous said...

everyone needs to find their own way as a parent and like you, no one wants to hear other people's advice. What works for one mommy might not be comfortable for another. All moms have an overwhelming love for their babies and will do their best to nurture love and protect their precious little bundles, whether it seems like the "right" way or the "wrong" way to others. It's all so personal...and it all comes from the heart.

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