I was driving today, and as I often do, I thought about the girls and how much I miss them. I cried a little, as I've been doing the past year upon confirmation that the girls are never moving... And then I thought about Lydia and how just going 3 days without seeing her makes me wanna cry.
With the girls, I never ever thought I'd be able to love any child as much as them. They have grown up with me. They're a huge part of what makes me who I am. But Lydia has taught me that there's a lot of love in my heart...more than I knew. I've fallen in love with her just as much as I did for the girls.
This is what was holding me back, truly, so long from avoiding the idea of kids. That's why I said I don't want babies. I was afraid I'd have a baby and torment it to be just like the girls (especially if it was a girl...kind of why I want a boy real bad). But I don't feel that way anymore. Lydia's got her own agenda. And one day maybe I'll have a baby with its own agenda too. That's what Lydia has taught me. I will miss her terribly this weekend when I go out of town, but I will bring her back a present :)
*This email definitely brought a tear to my eye!! What has the birth of your baby taught your family? Has anyone changed? Has it inspired anyone else in your family to have a baby?
Lydia and her aunt Jamie at the Girl's Strawberry Patch a few weekends ago :-)